The Fosters (a poem)

Cries ignored
rotting diaper sores
skeleton frame
no last name
I was destined to be what I became
unwanted
unloved
child
black eyes
smothered cries
molested at four
locked behind doors
I was ashamed and I carried my pain
like I was the blame
crazy
insane
changing my name
locking me away again
Princella is gone...
no hope now
I am a motherless child
I don't care
boys are now here
I will give them my sex and part of my soul
they don't love me
only my honey
when they are done I'm back to square one
Crack is my friend never be alone again
No... this is what they want...I gotta stop!
Foster Mother...greedy pig...selfish whore...slamming doors... I'm better than this
I'm a child... this is not my fault !
I'm not who you want me to be...
GED...BABY...saved me.
Now look who laughs as you lie in your eternal hell !
HA... HA...HA...

Dmari's Detroit

With all the hoopla concerning the Dateline Special focused on Detroit (which I didn't watch) I think my city is a decent place to live. See I don't live in the same Detroit everyone else does I guess. Well I just may be looking at my home town through rose colored glasses. I know it's crime, drugs and random terrible acts of violence. I see the high teen pregnancy rates, the crackheads, the young thugs and all of the other issues that keep my city from being great. I see the corrupt politicians and the criminal justice system that believes in locking up children with adults. I see it all...but...I also see...

Pete's the restaurant on the corner thriving with my neighbors and  friendly waitresses smiling
the vigilant single mother down the street watching over her children as they play
the young man walking home everyday from work
my next door neighbor smiling at me as I walk my dog
my children falling in love with books as they go to a school of my choosing
thriving black owned businesses up and down East Seven Mile
my librarian happy to show me the new shipment of books
my neighbors laughing and dancing at the yearly block party
grass maintained
parks filled with children's cries of joy
I see my Detroit...
What do you see?
                             

Date night

Tonight I have a date. I met a guy on a online dating site. He left me a unique message and I responded. He's e-mailed me very nice e-mails and we've talked a few times. He seems to be a nice guy. Financially secure and sure of himself. He doesn't seem like a game player but they rarely show their true colors until you are in love with them. Really it seems as if he is everything I've been looking for. Smart, funny, ambitious, flattering and honest. Yet there always is a but....I'm not spilling that just yet.
Anyhow, he calls when he says he will and emails me long interesting witty emails. He seems to be very sincere. I want to take this slowly of course because I actually enjoy dating. Plus I don't want him to be the rebound guy. Like Dude was.
I meet interesting guys when I date but there always is something about them I can't put my finger on. So I dump them or don't return their calls. Then I end up with guys like Dude.

Michigan's DeShawn Sims opens up about family tragedy | freep.com | Detroit Free Press

This story has me seeing red! DeShawn Sims is my son David’s older brother by his father.  I read the quote Petey (that’s his nickname his father gave him) saying that he is the last man standing in his family. That is a bald faced LIE! Petey has had a lot  of challenges growing up and he’s made something out nothing but he is not the last man standing in the family.

David is still here and whether Petey wants to acknowledge him or not he is not going anywhere. I gave birth to David when I was 18 he was Shawn’s fifth child. I knew Shawn had three children but there was one he denied for whatever reason. Shawn was in jail when I had his son and we were not together. I was young scared and on welfare but when I saw this little baby I vowed that I would lay down my life for him.

Adoption of black children

All over the news yesterday was the story of Sandra Bullock adopting a baby boy from New Orleans named Louis. I fell in love with this beautiful little baby looking at the camera as if saying someone wanted me after all. The joy in Sandra's face says it all. I went to the people website and there was a collection of all the famous whom have adopted some children from other countries and some from here. A lot of those children were black. I applaud all those whom adopt and I give a standing ovation for those who adopt black and older children. I've believe in adoption and if the parent is dedicated to that child and their needs it doesn't matter what color the parent is.

 Love comes in all colors and where ever you can find it is great. People have this great debate of how black children adopted by whites will not know their culture. WTH does that mean? When someone adopts you that means that they choose you. Therefore whatever you may need in your life they are willing to provide. Security, love, commitment and a dedication to make sure you are the best person you can be. I'm quite sure every black child that has been adopted by a white person knows who they are. They know the only thing that matters is they are LOVED!! I wish Sandra and Louis a very rich life together. She has shown remarkable strength of character pertaining to her cheating husband. She knows her truth and she is determined to live it.

Panic Attack

Saturday night I had the worse panic attack ever. I was having a conversation with my ex boyfriend. I was trying to get him to tell the truth about him cheating (I found naked pic's of other women in his phone...they weren't forwards). He kept on denying I even saw the pic's and we were going back and forth until I told him I was DONE!

Malcolm X's killer is freed on parole | freep.com | Detroit Free Press

Yesterday Malcolm X’s killer Thomas Hagan was released on parole. For the past eighteen years he has been on a work release program.  Now after serving “44” years he has been allowed complete freedom. I think that is BS.