I have Crohn's disease. I hate having Crohn's disease. Rarely do I admit it even to myself. I am in a flare but I don't want to go to the hospital. I hate hospital's. I hate Crohn's. I hate the stomach pains, the feeling as if my insides are being twisted by my worst enemy. I live each day trying to forget I have this disease. I try to forget but I can't not when the pain hits me so hard I fall to the floor. I vomit and there the pain sits deep in my chest not abating as I thought it would. The pain causes me to shout out, fall down, cry, and some days not even get out of bed. I hate pain. How am I to live like this? When I have a flare I think of the days when I'm in remission. Happy, shopping and able to take the kids out to the show. Remission=Strength. Flare=Weakness.
I try to fight through the pain...I swear I do but sometimes it knocks me right on my ass. I lay there just for a lil while and then slowly I get up. Ready and willing to go another round! Come on put em Crohns you fing weakling! You don't know who your'e messing with. After being abandoned, molested, tossed into various foster homes and being a teen mom all before age eightteen. Do you think you can take me on? Hell No!
I'm gonna fight your ass just like I fought against poverty, rejection and low self esteem! I'm gonna fight you untill I've whopped you so bad you will stay in remission!
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Keep fighting, D'Mari, Crohn's doesn't define you! You define yourself! I think you have a lot of inner strength. I wish you well always, and that you stay in remission a long, long time. hugz
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